You're Lying
by thegraceler
Summary: It's been eight years since their death. Eight years of being alone. Or has he been? Sebastian tells Ciel the story about how how his mother made a contract with him. He took her soul, but not before she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy; his son. Sebastian is Ciels father, and has been watching over him this whole time. But when Ciel reacts badly, Sebastian does the unthinkable.
1. Chapter 1

Let me tell you a story. A story in which a certain Earls life is turned around. A story where a butler keeps secrets. A story that will change everything.

"Sebastian!" I shout, my fingers impatiently tapping on my wooden desk. I look around my study, seeing everything is in its usual place. I stare at the door, waiting for that demon to appear. I ring the bell again, getting restless. Just as I opened my mouth to shout out for him again, I hear three knocks on my door. "Come in" I call, relaxing in my chair. I pick up the fountain pen and twirl it around on my fingers, becoming increasingly bored with every second that ticks by.

"You called, young master?" He asks, looking at me in my chair. His eyes land on my fingers, and the pen I'm spinning, and he smirks. He waits expectantly, while I just sit there. Studying him.

"Yes. I want something to eat. Sweet and fruity. Anything is fine, really. Perhaps something newer though." I tell him, eyeing my paperwork in front of me. Apparently Sir Richard wants me to come celebrate the birth of his second child. The manufacturer down town also needs my approval for a new candy they've created. It sounds good, a deep fried wafer covered in chocolate and caramel. I lick my lips, swallowing back the excessive saliva pooling in my mouth. Signing the papers, I hand them to Sebastian. "Take these to the post, and mail them by today. I can't have business backing up." I tell him, leaning back in my chair. I grab one of my Sherlock books, and begin skimming through the pages, glancing up to see if Sebastian is gone. Seeing that he is, I quickly set the book down, and open up my bottom drawer. I pull out a picture frame, and set it on my desk.

Mother. Father. She sits down in the chair, hair pulled back, and a lovely lilac dress on. He stands behind her, hand on her shoulder. They both look so beautiful together, they look happy. My eyes sting and I can feel tears forming at the back of my eyes. I blink a few times, trying to get rid of them, but they only fall to the floor. They drop onto the hard wood flooring, leaving splatters of water behind. I stare at my mother and father, crying. How weak I am, crying over the death of somebody. But, after all, it is their anniversary. I can't believe it's been five years. Five years without a mother or father. Five years of having to pretend like I'm a grown up. Five years alone. No family. They're all dead.

I swipe away the tears, and rub them off the floor as well. I can hear Sebastian climbing the stairs. I grab the photograph, and hide it underneath all the documents, and shut the drawer. I pick the book back up, and start reading at a random spot.

The door swings open, and in comes Sebastian pushing a trolley with my sweets on it. It's covered up, but I can smell it, and my tea. He looks at me, and for a brief second his eyebrows scrunch together. But it's gone as quickly as it came, the break in appearance gone.

"I have prepared something extra special for today my lord. I found the recipe in the back of the cellar, and I have to say it looked delicious." He tells me, and I swallow. The only thing I know of that is kept in the back of the cellar is… "I made you a fluffy white cake, covered in strawberries and cream. The recipe said it is a shortcake of some kind. And with it, White Darjeeling Tea. The slight peach flavour will compliment the dessert nicely." He finishes his summary of the meal, and smiles at me. But I can't focus. My vision is going blurry, and I can feel my throat closing off. I start gasping for air, my mind going blank. My body slumps forward, propelling me out of my chair. I don't hit the hard floor like I expected, but strong arms. My eyes are wide open, but unseeing. I hear Sebastian calling for me, and then everything goes black.


	2. Chapter 2

The silk gloves on my face are warm, soft. Smooth, and gentle. They run over my forehead, my cheeks. It's comforting, the tender caress of the gloves. I sigh quietly, enjoying it. For once I don't have to worry about anything else; Just myself. I can relax, at least for a little while. I try to open my eyes, but when I do it's still dark. My head hurts, and I fall back to sleep with the silk gloves stroking my face.

* * *

It's dark here. Wherever here is. It's frightening. I feel contained, claustrophobic. I reach out in front of me, and feel a steel bar. I move my hand to the right a little, and feel another steel bar. A cage. I'm in a cage. My breathing gets faster, my eyes looking wildly in the dark. Where am I? Why am I here? I scream. I scream for help, scream out of fear, scream because I am afraid. It's just like back then. I can't do anything but scream. Then the hands come.

Greasy, slimy, dirty hands reaching through the bars and grabbing at me. They grab at my clothes, tearing it from my body. They grope around, putting their fingers where they shouldn't. I can't see them, but they can see me. It's so dark in here. I'm so afraid. I look around frantically, trying to see something, anything. I try to shrink away from their touch, but I can't seem to get away. I keep screaming, tears streaming down my face.

The lights come back on, and make me squint. The sudden light makes my eyes burn, and I try to look around for my offenders. I look outside of the cage, and see them. A woman and man, wearing theatre masks. The woman has the tragedy one, a silver mask. The man has comedy, gold. They are side by side, wearing black cloaks. They seem familiar…

They both remove their masks, and I scream. Its mother and father.

* * *

Its morning, I can tell even though my eyes are closed. My eyelids are a muted orange, and the heat on my cheeks and neck warm me. I open my eyes, and blink a few times. Is something different? I rub my eyes while yawning, and look again. Yes, something is out of place… I scan my room, looking for the strange object. I see my armchair across from my bed, and see a black jacket on the arm. That's it; I never have clothes left around. But, that's not mine. Why is it there?

I try to call out for Sebastian, but my voice is hoarse. My throat is tight and sore, it feels as though I've been yelling for quite some time. I lift myself up from bed, and wince. Why are my sides and shins sore? I remove one leg from underneath the covers, and see dark bruises splotched all over. I lift my night clothes up as well, and see the blemishes there too. What happened to me? Have I been in an accident? Sebastian came in with my snack, and said something about a new dessert, but that's all I remember. Bits and pieces are clear, but the rest is blurry. The darkness, silk gloves. I'm confused. What does this mean?

I ring the bell on my night stand, and hear Sebastian climbing the stairs. I relax back into the pillows, allowing my muscles to loosen up. I keep swallowing, trying to get rid of the soreness in my throat. He knocks, and I moan in response, it's the most noise I can make. I don't like this whole 'not talking' thing. I'll have to get it fixed as soon as possible. He opens the door, and I can tell instantly that he's been worried. The visible worry lines etched across his forehead disappear when he sees me sitting up. His hair is all disheveled and messy, probably from him pulling on it or running his fingers through it. He sighs heavily, as if to say 'you're alright'. The break in appearance is small, and is quickly gotten rid of, as he returns to his calm and stoic self.

"Young master, it's good to see you're awake. You've been asleep for quite some time now." He says, and I frown. I didn't sleep that long, it only felt like a few hours. I guess I was wrong. I try to speak, but all that comes out is a croaking sound, followed by a series of coughs. I clear my throat, and try again, but it just brings on another fit of coughing. Sebastian, noticing my distress, reaches out into the hallway and pulls in a trolley. I can smell the tea, it's lemony. The wheels roll silently across my floor, and stops right beside my bed. He prepares the tea silently; the only sound is my labored breathing and the clank of the spoon. He stirs in a spoonful of honey, and I lick my lips. He places the cup and saucer in my hands, and they rattle against each other in my shaking hands. I cringe at the embarrassment, and take a sip. It's lemon tea, tart with the sweetness of honey. It fills my mouth, and soothes my aching throat. I take another drink, and allow the hot tea to do its thing. I appreciate the hot drink, and down the whole thing, ignoring the burns it leaves on my tongue. I lick my lips again, and put the cup back down on the saucer. Clearing my throat, I test out my voice.

"Thank you for the tea." I say, my voice barely a hoarse whisper. I sound pathetic and weak, but I can't do anything about it. I want to know what happened after he came into my room, why I can't speak and have bruises.

"Sebastian, what happened? I don't remember anything, but I can't speak and I have bruises on my body." I say, clearing my throat again. This is going to be annoying; I won't be able to talk to anybody. Sighing, I lean back into the pillows, and fiddle with the duvet.

"I found a new recipe for your snack, and when I brought it in, you looked pale. Your eyes were bloodshot, and you looked wiped, your face was as white as a sheet. I told you what the desert was, and you passed out. I caught you, and tried to wake you, but it didn't work. You've been unconscious for two days now." He explains. My mind is blank. That can't be true. It can't be. How could I have just passed out? Am I that weak? He continues.

"You screamed constantly in your sleep, none of the other servants could get any rest. And you thrashed about like you were being tortured. It really was horrible to watch." He says, his voice turning solemn. I know Sebastian cares deeply for me, and I remember that brief time we tried to make it more than just a work relationship. But it didn't last long, I wasn't what he needed. He has a soul mate waiting for him, and it's not me. So we've just stuck with friends. But he cares about me, and I him. He worries more than he should. He's going to die from a heart attack one day, I swear.

"What was the dessert?" I ask, because clearly I was shaken up by it.

"It said on the recipe 'Strawberry Shortcake'." He tells me. I know why I fainted. "Young master, if you don't mind me asking, was there something wrong with what I made?" He asks a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"No Sebastian. That was what my mother made for me every year on my birthday. It's been years since I've had it, and you serving it to me on their death anniversary… I guess it was too much." I admit my voice quiet. I don't let anyone know about my weakness for my parents. They say with time, wounds heal. But I find that with each year that passes, it gets harder and harder to cope. I thought it was supposed to get easier. Sometimes I find it hard to breathe when I think about them. How I could never get revenge. How I _failed_. Because I was weak. I am weak.

Sebastian stays silent, and nods his head. He takes my dishes, and leaves the room without so much as an "Excuse me". I lay back and drift back to a dreamless sleep.

He's being strange. I'm not sure why, but he is acting strange. Sebastian doesn't make mistakes like this. I stare at my dinner plate, at the sloppy presentation, the cloudy, un-polished silverware. The table cloth even has dirt on it. He's slipping.

My voice is still hoarse. A little louder, but not completely healed yet. Ever since the past day or two, when I told Sebastian about my 'episode' he started getting sloppy. First it was just small things, tea a little too sweet, or the room not dusted. But it's gotten worse. I went to bed last night, to find it not made. It was in the state I left it that morning. It's like he's completely forgotten how to do his job. He's always sweating too. It's strange, because I've never seen him sweat. Demons don't sweat. Something must be wrong with him, and he needs to get himself together.

"Sebastian. Come here" I beckon him over, having not touched my food. He walks over quietly, his steps faltering a little. I can see his hands shake too, and his brow has a thin layer of moisture on it. "You're getting sloppy" I say, gesturing to my dinner. "Dirt on the table cloth, un-polished silver, messy presentation? What is this?" I say, my voice wheezing as I try to shout. He doesn't reply right away, he only darts his eyes away from mine.

"I am sorry, my lord. I will clean this up at once. I apologize." He says, and a small blast of wind hits my face. He disappeared from my side for a moment, but is back now. I look down to my dinner, and see everything is as it should be; my cutlery is shining again, the cloth has been cleaned and ironed. My dinner has no splashes or slops of sauce. I nod, and he goes back to stand behind my chair. I watch him stand there like a statue. He looks normal. But his eyes are still flitting about the room, never meeting mine. He's hiding something…

* * *

**A/N : Sorry about not updating, I wasn't really planning on this being a story that I finish. I know, not very nice. But its true. I posted it, and wasnt expecting to get six reviews on my first short chapter! (IT DOESNT SEEM LIKE A LOT, BUT IT IS TO ME) I was surprised to say the least, so I decided to continue. I hope you like the chapter, and remember to review, rate and follow. I love you all. Keep reading.**

_xoxo_

_thegraceler_


	3. Chapter 3

I thought we were getting over this little bump. I watch Sebastian mindlessly prepare dinner. I'm sitting on a stool in the kitchen, somewhere I'm not there often. I decided to come because I had absolutely nothing to do. All the paperwork is finished for today and I've completed reading the Sherlock Holmes series. So I decided to entertain myself by watching him. He is usually good at this sort of thing, isn't he?

I watch him closely, and become perplexed. Every time he slices the carrot, his eyes flick over to me, then back to the vegetable. Like he's watching me watching him. Why is he acting so strange? A butler should be organized and efficient. Sebastian just seems to be… lacking.

He grimaces, and I look down to see blood. He's cut his finger. How incompetent.

"Honestly, how are you getting stuff done around here? You're being inadequate; your work has been getting sloppy. I thought we were over this little bump in the road, but I see not."  
He looks up at me, a slight frown showing on his lips. He nods quietly.

"You're quite right young master." He says shamefully.

"Just go clean up." I tell him, and jump down from my perch. He leaves the kitchen first, holding his bleeding finger. I listen for his footsteps to become quiet, and then race down the hall towards the servants' quarters. I reach Sebastians' room, and check to make sure nobody is close by. If somebody found out I was going in here, I'd have to dig myself out of a very deep hole.

The door opens quietly, the hinges well oiled. I remember when I first showed him the room, they squeaked so loudly you could hear it down the hall. I guess he fixed it, being the butler that he is. It's dim in the room, almost pitch black except for the stream of light coming in from the doorway. I stumble through his bedroom, and search for the matches. I find them beside his candle set, and I quickly strike one. The smoke fills my nostrils, and I choke. Even the smell of a match being struck makes the memories come speeding back with vengeance, screaming for my attention. I light the wick quickly, and the room is filled with a faint light. His bed is made, impeccable. He doesn't sleep in it anyway, not that I know of at least. I've heard him roaming the corridors numerous times when I am still awake. I wonder what he does. Probably cleans everything, even the stones outside.

I search through his wardrobe, only to find a couple other sets of his uniform. No personal belongings. Nothing hanging on the walls. No family pictures. I mean, I know he doesn't have a family, but he could at least have some pictures of cats or something. It's so dreary in here, even for a demon.

I spot his dresser in the corner of the room, and dig through the drawers. Nothing. Socks, shoe polish, towels. I'm just about to close the drawer when something dark underneath the towels catches my eye.

A journal. Why would Sebastian hide a journal? I shouldn't go through his belongings… but he is my butler, my property, therefore anything he owns is by extension, mine as well. I open the journal, and see his precise writing. Pages after pages, written in black ink. Some of it is neat, how he usually writes, but some of it is rushed, splotchy even. Are those water marks? I flip through the book, and see the whole thing has been filled. I start to read a passage.

**It's my third day here. They seem very strange. She gives me odd jobs to do, clean the candles, iron the dogs' collar. I don't really understand why, but who am I to disagree with my master. Though I wish I could get rid of that wretched dog. **

**I shouldn't be saying that, they care for him very much. Sort of like a child. I can't even imagine the two of them having children; they would fight so much it would kill itself. I know I would. **

**How peculiar it is, that a married couple fight like angels and demons. Sometimes I will come across my mistress, sobbing into a handkerchief. Last night was particularly worse; she had bruises on her arms. I know he did this to her, but I am not in the position to call him out on it. **

I stop reading. It must have been a couple, his previous master. Or meal, should I say. The man was abusive. I don't know why he's writing this all down though. IT makes no sense. I flip a few pages, and read another passage.

**She comes to me now, when he lashes out. The first time I witnessed what he did to her, it was only two weeks ago. They have become frequent, two or three times a week. She is very distraught when it happens, but she always comes to me. To talk, to sit, to listen. **

**Each time we talk, I notice more and more things about her. The way she bites her lip to contain her sobs. Her nervous habit of tapping her foot when she wants to ask me something. And the way her eyes shimmer in the light. Every day, she seems to get more and more beautiful. I want to spend more time with her, which is absurd.**

**I can't think of my master as beautiful, at least not this way. I lust for her, for her skin against mine. I don't understand what this aching is in my chest. I need to control myself.**

It looks like Sebastian had a passion for his master. How devious. That sly fox. I hear footsteps in the kitchen, Sebastian must be back. I quickly hide the book back under the towels, and leave his room, after blowing out the candle. He mustn't know I was in there.

"Sebastian." I call, walking towards the kitchen.

"In here, master." He replies from a room away. I walk through the doorway, and see him washing his hands. He holds up his finger, and I see it is wrapped up. "See, all better." He jokes, and then smiles. A grin tugs on my lips, and chuckle lightly. I go to sit back on my stool, but he stops me. "Young master, if you could kindly wait in the drawing room. Please occupy yourself for the time being. Supper won't be ready for a while, and I need to go out for some ingredients anyway." He shoos me away from the table top, and down the hall. "I'll be back soon" He says from the doorway, a list in his hand. I narrow my eyes, but stay silent. I walk back to my study, and sit down. He's not going to the market. He never brings a list of ingredients with him. He's going somewhere else. He lied to me.


	4. Chapter 4

I sit dumbfounded on the couch, staring at the wall. He's not allowed to lie to me. How is it possible? What could that list of said? He never needs a list. He's a bloody demon; he could memorize the dictionary if he wanted, yet not a few simple ingredients. That means he's going to visit somebody, somebody that he needs to show something to.

Who does he need to see? And why would he have to hide it from me? It must be something important then. He shouldn't be keeping secrets from his master.

I can't confront him about this. I need to find out more about what is in his journal. Ha, it's almost like a diary. Sebastian, the big scary demon, keeps a diary. It's quite strange that he felt the need to write everything down. Maybe he wanted to show it to a psychologist. I can't imagine Sebastian lying down on the couch, telling his deepest secrets to some random person. He would feel that they had an unfair advantage, a weak point over his head. Plus he's the type of person that would deal with it head on.

I think of all the times Sebastian has been headstrong. When he fought Ash, Grell, when he… got information out of that nun. I hadn't realized it before, but he is such a powerful demon. Well… at least I think he is. I haven't met another one other than Alois'. I wonder if they're all like that. I've heard him tell me stories, how demons usually share one strong trait from the seven sins.

_Lust. Gluttony. Greed. Sloth. Wrath. Envy. Pride. _

He told me about all the other demons and she-demons, how some are intensely unique, rare, different. How exquisite they were. How beautiful.

He hasn't told me which trait he carries, and I'm not sure if I want to know. He could be wrath. I can see him holding the Wrath trait. He's so angry sometimes, but very controlled. I know Claude held the trait of Gluttony. He abandoned his own meal to come after me. He fought to the death, just for a meal. Incredible really, what demons will do for a soul. He was willing to fight for his life, to win me.

Why was I so important? Sebastian, Claude and Hanna were all fighting for me. How odd... I wonder what it is about my soul is irresistible. I'm glad I summoned Sebastian. I could never admit it, but lately I've realized how much of a constant he is in my life. He was there when nobody else was. He's seen me at my weakest, my strongest. But that does make him much more dangerous. He could exploit all of that against me. And I've been worrying. He's been so distant lately, and he could just leave at any moment.

After Hanna sabotaged our contract, I was changed into a demon. Most terrifying time in my life. But Sebastian called unto Satan, begging for me to be changed back. He complied, but I was cursed by the demon change. The human who couldn't age. The contract was still in effect. We came back, but not to London. Everybody thought I was dead. I couldn't return. I didn't have the courage to face everything that had happened. So we left, travelling the world. We stay for a few years, living in the biggest house. Sebastian makes all the money, I'm not sure how. Maybe he robs banks. But then we leave. Disappear in the middle of the night, and move across the ocean. He seemed unhappy. Because Claude lied in their contract, everything became mixed up. Sebastian doesn't know how to finish the contract anymore. So I gave him an option; to stay with me, or to kill me and leave. I would be happy either way.

He just smiled, and kept walking. He never answered me, and he's still here. He can feed whenever he likes, he can do as he likes, but he always comes back to me. Every time. But lately... I'm not so sure if he wants to stay. He seems unhappy.

I hold my head in my hands, and feel my throat become tight. I would rather be dead than him leave. I rub my temples, trying to rid the dull ache pounding in my skull. I grip the armrest, and push myself up from the couch. No more of this serious thinking, I can figure this out later. Sebastian will only be gone for so long and I need to read more out of his journal. My feet scuffle against polished floors, and I stop into the kitchen. I climb up into the counter, and open the cupboards. The best part about Sebastian being gone is that he doesn't know if I do something I shouldn't. I dig through the shelves, and find what I'm looking for; chocolate. I keep a stash of Belgiums' finest chocolate here, and he doesn't know. I throw it on the island, and crawl my way back down the counter, my foot slipping. I reel back, and almost fall, when I catch myself, gripping the ledge of the countertop. I carefully scoot down the rest of the way, and grab the bag of chocolates. Travelling around the world has its perks; I've gotten to try so many new desserts. I sometimes ask Sebastian to make them. He usually gets them right. I smile at the thought of him trying to make beef wellington. He burnt it to the ground after messing up the entire thing. He was so angry, he went on a vacation. Literally, left for three days, and came back with no voice and broken knuckles. I bet he spent his whole time - wherever he was - punching trees, rocks, buildings, and screaming in rage. Sebastian doesn't do stuff wrong. His first time making human food was different, he failed miserably, but back then he wasn't used to getting everything 'human-like' right.

Stuffing a Godiva chocolate in my mouth, I walk down the hallway toward the servants' quarters. Times still haven't changed; servants are still tucked away, unnoticed. I remember a few years back, I met a strange old man. His name was Felix, and he had his workers room on the same level as him. How absurd! He said that even though they were his servants, he treated them with respect and equality. I snorted at the idea, servants and nobles _equal_. I didn't stay with him long; I was just visiting for the day.

The mansion is empty, thankfully. The maids have this evening off, so I don't have to hide from anybody. I pass the lavatory, and continue on to Sebastians' room. I enter quickly, and shut the door behind me. Once again, I search around for the matches in the dark. In my blind hunt for the box, my hands hit something. It teeters, and crashes to the ground. I wince, and continue searching for the matches. No point in trying to see what it is if I can't see at all. My fingers fumble over the cardboard box, and I quickly light the wick. The room is filled with a muted light, and I look down to the floor. The object is face down. I pick it up, and examine it more closely. It's a picture frame. The frame itself is quite old, worn with age. I look at the photo, and squint. It's such a dark picture. I shine the candle closer to it, and gasp. It's me, when I was younger, with Mum and Dad. Sebastian sits beside me, his tail wagging. We look happy. But there's blood splattered on it, and the edges are burned slightly. I don't even remember this being taken, but it's from a long time ago. I take a shaky breath, and put the photo down where it originally was. I don't have time to process why he has that, I need to read some more out of his journal. I bring the candle over to his dresser and pull out the tattered leather-bound book. I open the pages, and start reading.

_**She looked stunning today. She looks gorgeous every day, but today she was especially beautiful. But it was for their wedding photo. They are sending out invitations for a party they are hosting. His company has just reached highest sales, and they feel the need to celebrate. That just means more work for me.**_

_**I hope everything goes smoothly tomorrow. My master seems to be tense, probably about the party. He has been locked up in his study for most of the day, while my mistress entertains herself with reading. She hasn't cried in a few days now, which is a good sign, surely. But I can't help but get the feeling that something bad is about to happen soon.**_

Sebastian seems really stressed about this whole thing. I can't imagine why, you would think he cared for his mistress, whoever she was. It must have been a while ago, seeing as he's been serving me for the past eight years.

_**I was right. The master got very angry at her for stepping out of line. She had a bit too much wine, and was telling embarrassing stories about their past. Everyone thought it was quite hysterical, except for him. He was brimming with rage, and ended the party early. Said that he had some urgent business to attend to, and couldn't be distracted. I saw the whole thing happen.**_

_**He dragged her into the drawing room, where I was quietly hidden behind the corner, dusting. They didn't even notice me. I didn't hear what he was saying; he spoke in a hushed tone. She looked more terrified than if he was shouting. He gripped her wrist like a vice as she tried to turn away. He spoke in her ear, menacingly. He slapped her across the face, and she doubled over, trying to protect herself. But he just kicked her in the stomach. He hit her again, and I could hear the whimpers coming from her. My heart constricted, and I wanted so badly to tear him limb-from-limb. I wanted him dead. But I couldn't do anything. So I had to watch her get beaten.**_

_**By the time he was finished, she could barely stand. Her breathing was so laboured, it was hard to tell if she was or not. He left the room, but not after spitting on her. The door shut, and she fell to the ground, weeping. I rushed over, and held her, letting her sob into my chest. We didn't say anything. **_

_**Finally, by the time her eyes were dried, it was almost dawn. I smoothed her hair, touching her face with my gloves. She looked so beautiful, even after crying. She stared into my eyes, and all I saw was pools of blue. Like the ocean. She raised her head up, and softly touched her lips to mine. My eyes widened at the unexpected act, and instantly kissed her back. **_

_**It was the first time we kissed. So bittersweet, filled with pain and jealousy. It wasn't our last. But everything about it made that kiss so much more special.**_

Shocked, I close the book back up, and tuck it away. I put another chocolate in my mouth, glad that I can use my hands again. What an outrageous thing to do. How could he kiss his mistress! A servant and master, how devious. And extremely unacceptable. His mistress was a wanton creature. Turning on her husband, and for a servant no less! I cringe in disgust. I can't believe Sebastian would have the audacity to kiss his mistress! How repulsive.

I scan the room, making sure everything is where it should be. Sebastian would obviously notice something was out of place the minute he walked in, but I don't think he's been here lately. Thankfully. I glance one last time at the photograph, and then blow out the candle.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you all for taking the time to read. It means so much to me. Sorry about the late chapter, I was super-duper busy this weekend, I play a lot of sports and after school activities. So I sometimes don't have time to write. I'll try to make more time. Please Review and Rate, it makes my day a whole lot better. Thanks for all the readers. :) **

**xoxo,**

**thegraceler**


	5. Chapter 5

I walk quietly out of his room, shutting the door quietly behind me. I scoff at the idea of him kissing his mistress, and going behind his master' back. It's disgusting. I shake my head. I can't be thinking of these things right now. Sebastian will be home any second, and I need to create an alibi if he asks me what I've been doing. I stroll down the hallway, and head back in to the kitchen. I climb up the counter again, and place my uneaten chocolates back in to their hiding spot. Can't have Sebastian finding these. He'd have a fit. I tuck them behind the bonito flakes. He used these to make stock for a Japanese soup I asked for. I heard good things about in when we lived in Hiroshima, down in Japan. I thought it would have been good. It was dreadful. It might have been Sebastian, but I highly doubt it. I asked him to never make it again. So he never goes up here to get these. Perfect hiding spot.

I'm sitting at my desk, building a mansion with Lincoln logs when there's a knock at my door. I hoarsely say "Come in" and continue working on my project. I don't look up, because I know its Sebastian. His eyes are on me, I can feel it. Years from experiencing the feeling over the years. I hear him chuckle under his breath, and I know he's laughing at me. Cocky bastard. I roll my eyes, and then look up at him.

"Do you find me amusing?" I say my voice sharp like a whip. I try for stern, and unamused, but it's no use. He's still grinning like a child on Christmas morning. He laughs again, a little louder this time.

"Yes I do." He stalks over to me, and leans right up in to my face.  
"You've got a little," He runs his thumb over the corner of my mouth. "Chocolate." He smirks, and licks the small bit of chocolate off his finger. He smiles, and leans back. My face is burning up; I can practically see the red on my cheeks. I turn my head away, and don't answer. I secretly wipe my mouth on the back of my hand, and see that there are little traces of chocolate smeared on my skin. I blush harder, and try to appear unaffected by his find. But it's impossible with him staring at me like that. I try to contain the small bubble of laughter trying to force its way out, but it's getting harder by the second. Finally I burst, small giggles spill out of my lips as I laugh at the awkwardness and hilarity of this whole thing. He smiles too, a heart-stopping smile, as I continue to laugh.

"Alright, alright." I say when I recover from my fit of giggles. It's so unusual for me to laugh like that. I take in a deep breath, and then let it out all at once, composing myself.  
"What do you need? I'm building paradise" I say, gesturing my hand towards my unfinished masterpiece, the Lincoln Logs mansion.

"I came to tell you it's almost time for you to retire. Would you like tea tonight, or maybe some warm milk? You look tired." He asks me, concern laced in his voice. I look up at him again, and think. My voice is still sore, so maybe I'll take him up on his offer of warm milk. It's been such a long time since he's offered.

"Warm milk please. I'll be in my room." I say, and set down the wooden log I was holding. I will most definitely finish this tomorrow. He smiles at me, and nods his assent, then turns to leave.  
"Oh and Sebastian?" I call, stopping his leave. He twists to face me, questioningly. "Can I have extra honey this time?" I ask timidly, embarrassed. I don't let him see me this shy or embarrassed often, but I want something comforting tonight. It's been a hell of a day. He nods again, and leaves the room.

I slip the last button through its slot, and tug down on the shirt lightly. I've learned how to dress myself now, seeing as it's been years of watching Sebastian do it. I'm wearing my favourite pyjamas; they are fleece, navy blue, and have sail boats on it. I hug myself, picking up my blanket. It is also fleece, forest green with cream trimming. I pull it around me, reveling in the warmth it brings. These were a gift from Elizabeth and her parents, for my last birthday before I left. They still fit, seeing as I haven't changed. They bring me comfort, especially on cold days like today. I quickly climb in to bed, careful that none of my secrets are showing. Sebastian doesn't know I have these either. I do keep some secrets from him. I'm very careful. He would never let this go if he found these.

I miss Lizzy. I miss Lizzy and Finnian and Bard and Meyrin and Agni and Prince Soma, and Beast and Doll and Joker and Snake. I miss them all. But I had to go. The worst part about it is that I never get to see them again. I remember one time, when we left to go gather my belongings from the mansion; I swear I saw Lizzys head of blonde hair in the graveyard outside. The most awful part about it was that she was wearing black. I know how much she hates the color black.

It was so dreadful seeing her mourning. She didn't see me, but I know that it was her. My grave has been there since the fire, when everyone though I perished along with my parents. But no. It was never taken out. Rightly so, because they got to use it a few years later. How ironic.

Sebastian comes in my room, and he's holding a platter with warm milk and honey. I smile tentatively, and let out a big yawn. My jaw cracks quietly from the stretch.

'Thank you Sebastian." I say, while he prepares my drink.

"You're most welcome." HE looks up, and a puzzled look flits across his face, but it disappears. Probably wondering how I got myself dressed. I chuckle, and reach for the tea, aware that he stands beside me, rather closely. I sigh, drinking in the sweet milk. It flows easily down my throat, and soothes the raw aching skin. I swallow, and for once there isn't any pain accompanied with it. Perhaps the sore throat is going away. .

"Sir, Thursday evening I have been invited to a party a close friend of mine is hosting. I would like you to accompany me. Is that all right? Nobody will recognize you, but you'll meet some of my other friends." HE tells me.

"That's fine, I will come. Prepare something for me to wear though." I tell him, and go back to drinking my tea. My eyelids are heavy, and I find it a struggle to keep them open. I hear Sebastian laugh at my fatigue, and he takes away my cup, and tucks me in to the sheets. Blowing out the light, he retreats.

"Good night my lord." He whispers faintly, and I fall in to a dark forbidden world, unexplored. I wander mindlessly, trying to search out for something, but everything is shrouded in black. Hidden by the shadows.

A/N: Sorry about the short filler. It's leading up to something. Everything will start to make sense soon. I promise.

Review and Rate please, and tell your friends about me. It means a lot.

I really want people to enjoy reading my writing. Thanks everyone who has been reviewing, I hope to see more in the future.

I love you all.

Xoxo

Thegraceler.


	6. AUTHORS NOTE - PLEASE READ - IMPORTANT

Hey guys, I'm so so so so sorry for not updating sooner. I've been really busy because my volleyball season is ending and my soccer season is starting, plus I've been busy with tons of homework and projects. I'm also working on my piano exam. But that's no excuse. I am currently writing a super duper long chapter for you guys, and it should be done by Thursday, Friday at the latest. I want you guys to keep reading, because I love each and every one of you. Thank you so much for all of you that have been reading. It makes me so happy, and brightens my day every time I read your reviews. I promise I'll have the chapter up by Friday at the latest. Also, would you guys like me to tell you when I expect the next chapter to be up? That way it forces me to get off my lazy ass and write, and you guys can know when. You can also harass me with comments about updating, because I read them and that's when I realized its been forever since I did.

Sorry or the ramble.

Friday!

Thanks so much.

xoxo

thegraceler


	7. Chapter 6

"Sebastian, stop it! I can do it myself!"

"Clearly you can't! Now hold still."

"NO! STOP! IT HURTS!"

"Just a little bit longer."

"Get the fuck away! I can fucking do it myself!"

He gapes at me. His mouth is hanging open in shock.

"Young Master! How dare you speak with such disrespectful and filthy words!" He admonishes me, and goes back to work. I sit in the chair, my arms crossed in front of my chest, pouting. I am placed in front of a large mirror, and Sebastian stands behind me, combing all the knots out of my disheveled hair. I'm in my formal attire, dress pants, vest, and jacket. Bow tie. It's all very uncomfortable. I wriggle around, trying to get a little more comfortable, but it's not working. The fabric just scratches at my skin.

Sebastian has changed out of his usual clothes and is wearing a dashing snug suit. It fits him well. His hair is combed and gelled back for once. It's a nice change. He is in the process of doing my hair so it looks good for tonights' party. But I managed to get syrup in it, so now there's a whole bunch of tangles. And he's not being gentle.

He yanks on a particularly large knot, and I cry out.

"Get off! I can do it myself!" I yell at him, and hit him in the chest. He doesn't budge, but my hand hurts. Muscle as hard as rock. Jeez. He doesn't say anything; he just continues to brush my hair. He sprays more water on my hair, in hopes of making it easier. I sigh. I did say that I would go to his party, but now I'm regretting it. I didn't sign up for torture like this.

When he can finally run the comb through my hair without it catching on anything, he opens up the small container of gel. Dipping his fingers in the scentless cream, he spreads it in to my hair, and runs his fingers through it. This part I can handle. This part I like. He combs it through again, and finishes. I look very classy and sophisticated. It's weird. My hair doesn't usually look like this.

"Alright, I'm done. We will be leaving shortly. Don't mess up my masterpiece. I'm going to get the carriage ready." He tells me, his eyes looking straight at me. I know it shouldn't be, but it's slightly scary the way his demonic aurora comes out. When he's angry, or sad, it's like he's radiating his emotions. He turns sharply, and stalks out of the room. I think I might have offended him. Or maybe he's just pissy. I didn't even do anything bad. He should be relaxing. He's going to be at a party in less than two hours. I don't even know where it is.

I look in the mirror, and see my reflection. A wide blue eye, staring back. The black eye patch covering the other. I keep it on, but now because it's just a habit. The contract is still there, but it doesn't bother me anymore. I pick at my hair, but stop immediately when I see Sebastians eyes staring at me in my mind. He could probably hear me from all the way in the courtyard. As if on cue, he appears in the mirror, standing in the door way, glaring at my hand in midair.

"Were you touching it?" He growls, still staring at me. I drop my hand guiltily, and cast my eyes to the ground.

"Yes" I mumble, keeping my head low.

"What was that? I didn't hear you." He says. I scoff. I know he heard me, he's a freaking demon. It would be impossible for him _not_ to hear me. He wants the satisfaction of humiliating me.

"Yes." I say a little louder.

"Sorry, I'm getting old. One more time." He says. I keep my eyes on the ground, my back to him

"I said yes!" I yell, fed up with his games. I whirl around to look at him, but step back. He's right in front of me. Towering over my short stature, as I cower slightly.

"That's what I thought." He whispers, and bends down to my height. My breathing becomes shallower. I know we didn't last very long when we tried to take our relationship further, but I can still feel that pull. The lust. I see his pupils dilate, but don't dare to move. I know he's not stable right now. His hand moves around to the back of my head, and I take a quiet intake of air. His face stays the same, no smirk I was expecting. I can feel his fingers by my hair, but he doesn't do anything. He pulls softly, and the sound of cloth rubbing against cloth is heard. My eye patch is loose, and then falls off. He untied the string. He catches the patch in his other hand, and tucks it in to his front pocket.

"I want this off for the party. Let everybody see that you're mine." He whispers in my ear, and stands back up to his full height. I nod quietly, but keep my mouth shut. He fixes the small part of hair that I touched, and smiles. "There, perfect. The carriage is ready. We should leave now if we want to get there in time." He says, and gestures for me to leave. I take one more look in the mirror, and walk out of the room.

He holds the door open for me, as I walk in to the crowd. It's strange, not the type of party I expected. I thought maybe there would be lots of loud music, sweaty demons, dirty dancing. It's just like a party I would host. Ladies in fancy dresses, men in their finest suits. Everybody socialising. It's quite strange. Sebastian is right behind me, watching me. I gulp, slightly intimidated, but walk in anyway. I let Sebastian lead, because he's the one who knows people here. I'm not usually daunted by parties and stuff like this, but being surrounded by demons is quite alarming. Maybe that's why Sebastian took off my eye patch. A demon wouldn't take anothers contract. Well, Claude and Hanna were different. Alois had rubbed off on them. His hate and greed. Sebastian watches me out of the corner of his eye, while keeping an eye on everyone else around us. He must be very popular in the underworld, because he is waved at often, and nods a hello. We are walking towards the table at the back, which has been laid with food and drinks. He hands me a flute of champagne, and takes some for himself.

"Well, let's do this. Don't leave my sight. I don't want anybody getting too friendly. There are people here you can't trust." He warns me, and takes a sip of champagne. I do too, nodding my head absently. I look around the room. One man in particular stands out, with electric blonde hair. He is talking to a group of men, but he looks over at us. I can't see what he says, but he excuses himself, and makes his way over to us.

Sebastian looks over, and his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. He sets his champagne down, and strides over to the mystery man. I follow quietly behind.

"Nathaniel! I didn't expect you to be here." He greets him, and pulls him in to a hug. They must know each other fairly well, because the greeting is comfortable and friendly. There's no hesitation or awkwardness. They clap each other on the back, and then this Nathaniel pulls away, holding Sebastian at an arms length, his hands on his shoulders.

"You haven't changed a bit Sebastian. Maybe a little soft around the edges," He teases, poking Sebastian in the side. "Other than that, you're still the same. Though I always thought you looked different from when you were a kid…" He trails off, and Sebastian steps aside, and puts his hand on my back, pushing me forward a bit.

"Nate, this is Ciel. My… uhh…" He stutters, trying to think of something on the spot. I'm not his meal, not anymore. But the contract is still in place. So what does that make me? What am I?  
"My friend, Ciel Phantomhive." He goes with friend. I guess that's neutral, for now. "Ciel, Nathaniel Thorn. Close friend of mine. Actually one of my best. We met when I started the plague way back when. He helped me out, and we've stayed friends ever since." Sebastian explains. Nathaniel sticks his hand out towards me, and I shake it. His hands are really warm, considering he's a demon. Sebastians' skin is always freezing cold. But his… His is hot to the touch. I pull my hand back, and secretly wipe the thin layer of sweat off of my palm, gagging. Disgusting. I would rather shake Sebastians' hand, at least its better temperature.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. How long have you two been together?" He asks, no judgement in his voice. I blanch, and stare at him. What?  
"What do you mean?" I ask him, gaping.  
"Well, you two are partners, aren't you?" He asks, shock in his voice. My eyebrows shoot up, and my eyes widen. Sebastian beats me to the answer before I can do it myself.  
"No, no, no, just friends. _Just_ friends. Nothing more." He rushes, and I think I can hear slight embarrassment in his voice. Maybe I should play this up a bit, watch him squirm.  
"Don't be shy Sebastian, he won't judge us." I say, tucking my arm through his. He stares down at me, his mouth open wide in shock. "I've known him for almost eight years now, but we've been together for almost a year and a half now." I tell Nathaniel, snuggling deep in to Sebastian.  
"That's wonderful you two. Always knew this one was sort of strange." Nate says, nodding towards Sebastian, and he smiles at both of us. Sebastian is staying quiet, not wanting to seem foolish, but I can see a droplet of sweat running down his neck. He's getting tense. He's embarrassed. Perfect.

Nathaniel looks down to my hand, then looks puzzled.  
"Sebastian, are you gonna.. Ya know… ask him?" He says, wriggling his eyebrows. I don't understand. Ask what? What does he need to ask me?

Sebastian looks at Nathaniel, and smirks. What, is it a private joke or something?  
"Actually, I am. Tonight." He says slyly. What's he doing tonight? He shifts, and takes the arm I'm holding, and wraps it around my waist, pulling me closer. He kisses the top of my head, and I stiffen. Now he's playing, and I'm going to lose. Definitely.

"When?" Nate asks, and he's smiling brightly. I still don't understand. Ask what?  
"Now." Sebastian says, and turns to me. He pulls away, and reaches in to his jacket pocket.

"Ciel." He says, drawing out my name. He's still digging around in his pocket. What could he be looking for? I cock my hip, bored with guessing. I'm just about to ask him what's going on, when he drops to one knee. I can't see what's in his hand.

"Ciel, I know it hasn't been very long. But I love you. Will you," He says, and pops open a small velvet box, containing a gold ring. "Marry me?" He asks, a smirk tugging on his lips. I stare at him, dumbfounded. Shocked, I don't say anything. This is part of the game. What move do I have to make to win? I know for a fact that he doesn't want to kiss me. Not full on anyway. What we had was strictly sexual, no lovey-dovey kisses. He was never that type of guy. He even told me once that he didn't like it. So he will squirm indefinitely if I kiss him.

I can say no, and let him make a fool out of himself. But that wouldn't bother him much. Not at all actually. He could brush it off without another glance. But if I say yes… He wouldn't be expecting it at all. Though I'm repulsed by the idea, it's the only way to win. I take a deep breath, and force out fake tears of happiness.

"Yes, of course yes. Oh my god yes, of course." I gush, letting the staged tears spill down my face. I grin like a lunatic, and put on my best performance. He blinks a little at me, then stands up, sliding the ring on to my finger. I'll have to ask him where he got it. And why he brought it too. I inspect the ring, smiling down at it, then fling my arms around his neck. I bring my mouth up to his, and have my first real kiss in months. He's not expecting it, and his mouth involuntarily opens, letting me take charge and slip my tongue in. It's repulsing, but I'd rather kiss him than lose. I weave my fingers through his black hair, and tug slightly, adding effect. I hope Nathaniel is watching, because this is for you.

He pulls away first, breathless and shocked. He hides it well, but I can see the anger brewing deep in his eyes. He steps back from me, but keeps grabs my hand instead.

Nathaniel is gushing, smiling like a lunatic.

"Congratulations you guys! I'm so happy for you Sebastian." He cheers, and hugs him straight away. I let go of his hand, and drop the act when Nates' back is turned. I glare back at Sebastian from behind Nate. I can feel his anger and discomfort, but I know I'll be safe while the party's going on. Nathaniel lets Sebastian go, and hugs me too. I bristle, but hug him back after a beat.

"We're going to go get something to drink, I'll see you later." Sebastian says, and leads me away, back to the table we were at before. He's mad. I know it. But I can't help but smile that I won.

"How could you do that?! Disgusting, repulsive, unnecessary kiss. You know how I feel about that." He whispers harshly in my ear. I ignore him, and pick up a chocolate square. I don't answer, and instead eat. I just eat while we stand there, silently brooding. He's stiff and cold.

I work the ring off my finger, and discreetly hand it back to him. He takes it without a word, and puts it back in the box.

"I win." Is all I say, and walk off towards the bar. I need a drink. Or two, or three. Or five. I need to wash out the taste of Sebastian from my mouth. Maybe I'll get drunk in the process, and forget this whole thing ever happened.

A/N: **Thank you guys for being so supportive and understanding that I do have things to do. I tried to write a longer chapter this time. It took me a long time to write because Dr. Phil was on across the room, and I would stop every few minutes to watch it. And of course it was a marathon. I don't even LIKE Dr. Phil! Thank you to all of my readers. You make me so happy. Big twists coming up soon. Everything will start making sense. And I haven't forgotten about the journal. I have everything planned out. I hope you keep reading. Review and rate my story. I love you all. Thanks so much. Hope you continue you reading. I should have my next chapter up by next week sometime. I can't guarantee it, but I always try. Stuff just gets in the way**

**xoxo  
thegraceler**


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